A rising fire

I had been living, for I don't know how long... in a misconception of Your love God. When I understand your love I get to love and accept love.

1 JOHN 💙💙💙 is where I'm at right now. 

I thank You God that we are DIFFERENT that is SO OK. I am sorry for criticizing YOUR creation. I am so sad for how I've seen people. It was so subtle that I didn't even notice it. Without patience and with judgement, I had unknowingly, been in agreement with satan by putting the pressure and shame ¡¡¡that Jesus removed!!! back onto Your children (and myself). Jesus freed us all from all condemnation and here I was, not seeing hope or calling out the wonderful callings in people but rather I criticized... 

I have now decided to step out of agreement with the schemes of the devil and my old flesh to step into freedom. If am healed and I am now light which is my new identity and I do not act like it, that is my own fault and I won't be able to shine so others can see. So I walk forward in the bought freedom and gifted grace. 

I know God wants to use me in people's lives to speak LIFE and HOPE... It's so obvious that is it a passion you've put in me but I have consciously decide to walk in freedom to help others walk in freedom. My hearts desire is to speak life and wholeness and live under an open Heaven. I am called to walk in the Spirit, not try to be Holy Spirit.  I repent of acting like I can ever take the responsibility of Holy Spirit.  I don't get to be critical as I am NO judge. I am just as guilty as any other, but legally and powerfully excused.

I have come to know is that Love is oh so powerful. This is what brings us change. Lover, You find us and You mend. Here and now, You mend. I want to see you JESUS break out and heal. I want to be used by you Jesus to see generations break into freedom and purity. I will speak life and not death. 

God you make all things new.    

Renew my patterns and thinking. You now, are within me and all around me, there is no place for guilt or shame in your Kingdom. Hallelujah. We are the free. 

What's up this week

My moms here this week.
I could NOT have done this without her (for reals, I would of given everything away to go back to USA with just a back pack to not worry about all of the things.. Which really isn't too much, mostly clothes and books). I have now... 4 bags. Wow.

We have packed it all up and are just enjoying these next few days, seeing friends and saying goodbyes, goin to parties and resting in a hot/cockroach filled house. (It's city life and sad but true about the cockroaches... Awful things.)

Ready to do this, get on the plane and figure out new steps. Trying to use English correctly and remember simple nouns that I can't seem to get ahold of.

Well worth it, every bit of emotion and dedication here. It's all worth it.

I don't know a title

And it's Friday, pretty much everything I've been doing for 2 years in Queretaro is passed over to my dear friends who are more than ready to run.

I am stoked to be in California.
I am praying for a love to come back to me for my home state... A love that is deeper and more than just sweet thoughts of the past and memories of in & out burger, but rather a love that is strong for the people and communities. A lot like that which I poured out to the communities in Baja, Oaxaca, and here Queretaro... It's time to go "back to the roots" and look around a bit and love well.



I have made a list of al that I want to learn, dreams of mine, and desires.
I haven't done that in a LONG time. I've ignored my own desires for so long. I'm frightened but excited to try new and jump on into the water.

Some things on the list varied like:

-to learn to communicate well

-to practice writing : songs, stories, any kind... However God leads

-use my hands : learn guitar (I have been procrastinating with this one, even having my own guitar.. ups), perhaps ceramics class, and art course.
Going to School of Creativy this May in Redding will be a joy.

-dance a whole lot more

-sing. STOP BEING AFRAID TO USE MY VOICE... Perhaps learn to use it and better it all for kingdom glory.

-speaking in front of people, anything in front of people... This has to do with using my voice and taking on confidence and stepping out. Applying the leadership skills I've learned here in Queretaro for my journey.

-obviously school and whatever work I get to do

-continuing to speak in Spanish to the Latino community

-encounter deeply God more and more forevermore and lead others into that great love



This journey has been wild and will surely continue on the same.

My ANTHEM, in this season

These here are my desires
And I will give them up to you this time around
And so I'll be found
With my stake stuck in this ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul 

Mumford & Sons - Roll Away Your Stone 

This song is pretty amazing, I have enjoyed it for a while now but I am seeing some great prophetic meaning to it.

I mean of course not everything is spiritual but this song affects me big time in this time in my life! God speaks to me in so many creative ways (and i'm sure He talks to you too/or would if you'd let yourself see it).

What is Father God telling me? "ASK!"  "I have put amazing desires in you my daughter, stop the worrying, you are abiding in me and you are co-creator and co-heir... DO, LIVE, BE. I will direct you but you have to MOVE, I can not direct you if you do not move."

Luke 12:32 says 

Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

We can give ourselves permission to BE AWESOME, to DREAM, take steps... we are trusted to act and create in this world, now.  God calls us to serve ON PURPOSE not just to float through dazed and confused.  Maybe y'all know this and I am just talking for myself… I sure know I needed to encounter this. I am in a time in my life where I am dreaming again, asking myself 'what are your desires and what ignites your passion?’.  I am learning to make small steps to succeed in the plans God has for me. 

I am also looking at- 'What makes you scared to death?' (Healthy motivating scare- for me its public speaking/public anything really, leading people in something on the spot...) That which frightens me... I know God wants to use and make STRONGER and I also know that our enemy wants to use it to scare us, intimidate us, and freeze us so that we would not grow or beat the fear. God wants to use me in that area while I'd like to not move into that "scary“ territory He says to me "Take it on girl, learn and grow in that area. You might fall and there's no problems in falling. You will get up and learn to walk and then run." And that “scary” place is actually something I long to do but the fear of people, fear of rejection, fear fear fear freezes me (but deep down it is a longing and God knows it that’s why HE helps me step out in boldness)

Anyways…We got to GO FOR IT. Charge against our fears and take our rightful place as the over-comer.

Love; it will not betray you dismay you or enslave you, it will set you free

Be like the MAN YOU WERE MADE TO BE

There is a design, an alignment to cry of my heart to see, the beauty of love as it was made to be

Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More 

HELLO!!! Read that! Re- read that!  Take it in. That is our cry.

Love this song quote too! We are NEW and have the option to walk in that newness.

This season has been hard for me because I realized I had been walking like a zombie. I had been so stressed out about "pleasing God" and doing "His will", all the while God is and was PLEASED with me but would love for me/us to do what He created us to do and enjoy it. I think there is a time when we suffer a bit but I don't believe that is for us for all of life. I think there are so many times and seasons, "good" and "bad"... it all starts in our minds and whether or not we see with the eyes Jesus has provided for us and with the mind Jesus had provided us.

Ok, perhaps I am rambling on BUT I know 

-both these lyrics are powerful truths

-the verse from Luke helps my faith and hope in my Father and King, and it is a NOW promise and continual in Jesus...

- I WILL give, continually, my desires to King Jesus and hold onto hope and ask continually for that which God has put into me for eternity.

-I am realizing deep dreams that I didn't even know I had, dreams I had forgotten, and skills I had forgotten that I had

-I have begun to see the fears and lies that have tried to trap me for too long

It time to move on, stop hiding under a rock, and rise to greatness.

--

Starting in April we will have a month of training for interpreting in LSM to better serve  our deaf congregation. Also we will be in prayer this month and more LSM equipping.
. 

 I love our ministry team and deaf friends. 

I have given them all of me. I am a bit jealous to leave the ministry team right when they are starting a new thing and are fired up with vision. But they are ready and it will soon be time for me to go. I do hope to be able to come back. I don't know how or when but I know my heart is here with these propel hearing and deaf. 

Going to school will be such an asset to future ministry and I can't wait to continue to live out and help others walk in freedom and healing in Christ. 

Good things are to come for Queretaro. This I know. There is vision here and passionate lovers. 

Wanna support the schooling?? 

Look on my support page/get involved page here on the blog for more info.  

It shows the process and how much I have and still need for the school year. 

School support

Blessings. 

Limit-less

It's time to end the excuses in our lives. It's time to quit living with limits. WE get to decide for ourselves our lives. We get to DO and not wait/ be stuck... We get to learn, live, and DO.

I want to use the God given wisdom that I have and skills for the Kingdom here and now. To lead well, love well and better this world that we live in.
Living intentionally with vision and goals to get things done. I have the grace to LIVE and leave a mark.

It's time to make daily decisions, even if they are small and seemingly insignificant. Little steps in freedom. We are not here just to pass by without being light and salt... Without leaking out our unique identity.

Revival in the earth is ready and waiting for us to BE who we were created to be. 

Kicking the bad in the butt & out the door; bringing in heaven

-Written 3:45am Saturday morning. My own scribbles and pacts to God... Or rather his pact to me. -

That's enough, enough of coffee taking Your place as idol... Buying it, consuming it , thinking about it, receiving bad affects or withdrawals ... It is too time consuming. Even now sick, instead of getting healthy sleep, having dreams in the night-I am sick.

This is my doing.

But hey! It's done. Why? Because it's not worthy. I was made for more. More has much to do with the King and his Kingdom. 

Jesus, you died for sickness... And me drinking simply coffee is causing afflictions and pains. I am doing that to myself knowingly. That goes against your reign and desire for us. You died for headaches and instead of taking your word, healing, provision... I am doing the opposite. Bringing on myself hurt, more anxiety, growing a vice... (And I'm not being hard on myself, I'm being real and not in denial.) 

So, I give it back to you Jesus. You call each of us to higher lives. Each person convicted differently. Each with what they can handle. For me, I have tasted and seen that my body doesn't work well with caffeine. I don't do well with caffeine. It does more harm than good. And has become an idol. Around coffee- I have based my schedules, time, & priorities. Those things need to be based around you King Jesus. 

So tonight, on my bathroom floor... 

Trying to kick the nausea and trying to calm my nerves and not think about the migraine... I was once again wondering- how did I get here AGAIN. It is NOT the first time. (The other incidents were worse)

And I kept thinking "I know better!"

Each time I have gotten here- racing heart, pounding head ache, nausea, and body shakes- I have thought "alright, won't do THAT again." And there I am again, in the same place. Tonight I heard... Ever so stern and lovingly God say “Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.”  Ouuuch. 

And this time instead of saying "ok... I won't be here again" and then doing it again... I decided in that moment on the floor, to see why I continued to drink coffee while I know the affects for ME. And I realized that I tried to make rules or surround myself with no's. I tired to avoid coffee. But my conviction to drink coffee and have the "good" "desired" affects, the thought that "everyone drinks coffee and loves it", or "it taste good and so desirable these days"- was stronger than my conviction to say "yes" to you God and all you want for me (higher-ness). 

I want so badly what you have for me, your time and recourses Lord, that I don't need the coffee, I don't need to rely on that. 

Sitting there on the floor really looking... It changed everything. 

And THIS, this I see, is true repentance. Learning a new path and taking it. Seeing the old and throwing the old out. 

{(In my life, MORIAH'S LIFE) I have heard for a while now that God hadn't wanted coffee's affects (good or bad) on me. And I tried in my own strength to kick the habit. The coffee was and continued to be a big idol and desire. Something, at times, that I only would avoid to please the people that wanted what was best for me and when they weren't looking I'd drink it again. Most times only feeling bad trying now to drink it and then have bad issues afterwards.. That guilty feeling. But no real proof of change. It wasn't my own desire to really stop. (Just like any sin in our lives before you let in GOD to really transform you.)}

This time, this time I know who it is for. I know how You Father see me and how you have SO MUCH infinitely more. And you don't desire for this weakness to any longer set me back. 

That is renewing.

This year of battling the desire for (something so simple and silly perhaps to others) coffee has been crazy and scary. But I see now. I see why I even went to the coffee in the first place and why I kept going back even when I knew I shouldn't. I see.

‭‭I am in bed now, my heart has calmed, nausea lower, and head pain almost gone... Thinking- thank you Jesus for dying for this and that I can let go and be greater. Because of you Jesus I am healed. I can come in close. 

P.s. I am aware that this is a conviction from God for ME. And only share my process. I never said or say that it is for others. I just know surely now, what God wants and has for me. I pray that you see how God sees you and that you will rise to that place, to be better. To live to your higher calling. Even if it is more difficult. He will SURELY highlight in your life an area of the need of "letting go" and rising to greatness.