Thursday, February 18, 2016

Moving back or forward?

Did you guys know that it is OK to actually do something you enjoy?? It is OK to have dreams and desires and when those dreams or desires come to pass, that you can take a hold without feeling guilty and jump on board. Maybe I am not making sense. I just have seen that I can actually have pleasures in God's timing and not feel guilt.

Do you know that I didn't know to college? Let me share with you something.
When I was 18 I started living in Mexico. That was a great decision. Honestly though once in a while the doubt tries to creep in and it accuses me-"you should of", "what if", blah blah... not helpful, bad... just worry thoughts...but the truth is, it was and is all worth it. And those doubts do not last too long.
I have been through a lot and have matured so much. I have learned Mexican Sign (which IS NOT the same as American), how to teach (the deaf) children, how to be a counselor, a motherly figure, a leader, (more) organized, learned Spanish, learned to live with a completely foreign family and to live alone and to be a responsible adult, steward money, taught other people how to sign and teach sign, how to be in front of a crowd and speak (still learning that one, it freaks me out!), and how to love better (still learning this one a lot!).
My point is, ok so I did not go to college. That will not hold me back. I will not use that as an excuse to not try something or make goals and dream.
I am proud of myself.
I have so much faith but sometimes I believe lies that make me forget, but guess what! that faith is still there and growing stronger.

I am finishing up IMS, the Bible school I have been attending and have decided to apply at BSSM- Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. I have taken in so much and will not throw any of it away but rather apply it and keep growing and learning. But I know its time to do something else and I guess I could say that I am doing it for me, making a decision that I need to make.

What will I do afterwards?? I am not there yet. God has told me to be present and not worry about the future like I was. I would like to come back to Mexico but if that does not come to be, He will teach me to be OK. I will delight. It might be harder for me to live in the US than MX, that is me being honest. I have grown up here in MX. This is my home. But this is a new season. This is a time to continue learning. The school I am in now in MX is a baby school like BSSM in Ca. One of my teachers right now, Dick Joyce, is a supported missionary and friend of the Bethel family, who I respect greatly. 
Here is the deal...  I do not want to just fill my head with knowledge about revival or learn about the past, I want to see it happen here and now. I want to actually see America break out and burn for Jesus. My intentions are to take in to give out. I am planning to come back to California this July and if/when I get accepted to BSSM I would be going this fall. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE your support in this. Please ask me questions. I challenge you to not judge before you actually know. And remember you know me and know my heart. I want to see people freed. I want to see people (hearing and Deaf) walk in freedom and not continue in "slavery". I want more of God and and want others to experience the Fathers good good love.
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The past 5 years I have been living on supportive people, doing what we are called to do give, pray, and/or go. I obviously do not work with a paying job and haven't for 5 years. I want to go back to Ca and put all I know to work while in Ca, BUT I could use your help.

Invest in me. Even if I end up staying in California, only God knows, it is well worth it. I see myself working for the hearing and deaf wherever that may be, and in English and Spanish.

I cant promise anything for your taxes unless you go through my gofundme account, which I have shared with you in past letters.
I am excited and it has been a rough few months but I am ready to do something for me/for Gods kingdom.

Tuition is 4,550 USD not including food, transportation, rent...
just throwing that out there. :) GOFUNDME
We have this hope... so secure. It is running through our veins. Be aware of it. 

P.s. Let me know how you want to support me in this and I will give you the information needed. hehe

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