My ANTHEM, in this season

These here are my desires
And I will give them up to you this time around
And so I'll be found
With my stake stuck in this ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul 

Mumford & Sons - Roll Away Your Stone 

This song is pretty amazing, I have enjoyed it for a while now but I am seeing some great prophetic meaning to it.

I mean of course not everything is spiritual but this song affects me big time in this time in my life! God speaks to me in so many creative ways (and i'm sure He talks to you too/or would if you'd let yourself see it).

What is Father God telling me? "ASK!"  "I have put amazing desires in you my daughter, stop the worrying, you are abiding in me and you are co-creator and co-heir... DO, LIVE, BE. I will direct you but you have to MOVE, I can not direct you if you do not move."

Luke 12:32 says 

Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

We can give ourselves permission to BE AWESOME, to DREAM, take steps... we are trusted to act and create in this world, now.  God calls us to serve ON PURPOSE not just to float through dazed and confused.  Maybe y'all know this and I am just talking for myself… I sure know I needed to encounter this. I am in a time in my life where I am dreaming again, asking myself 'what are your desires and what ignites your passion?’.  I am learning to make small steps to succeed in the plans God has for me. 

I am also looking at- 'What makes you scared to death?' (Healthy motivating scare- for me its public speaking/public anything really, leading people in something on the spot...) That which frightens me... I know God wants to use and make STRONGER and I also know that our enemy wants to use it to scare us, intimidate us, and freeze us so that we would not grow or beat the fear. God wants to use me in that area while I'd like to not move into that "scary“ territory He says to me "Take it on girl, learn and grow in that area. You might fall and there's no problems in falling. You will get up and learn to walk and then run." And that “scary” place is actually something I long to do but the fear of people, fear of rejection, fear fear fear freezes me (but deep down it is a longing and God knows it that’s why HE helps me step out in boldness)

Anyways…We got to GO FOR IT. Charge against our fears and take our rightful place as the over-comer.

Love; it will not betray you dismay you or enslave you, it will set you free

Be like the MAN YOU WERE MADE TO BE

There is a design, an alignment to cry of my heart to see, the beauty of love as it was made to be

Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More 

HELLO!!! Read that! Re- read that!  Take it in. That is our cry.

Love this song quote too! We are NEW and have the option to walk in that newness.

This season has been hard for me because I realized I had been walking like a zombie. I had been so stressed out about "pleasing God" and doing "His will", all the while God is and was PLEASED with me but would love for me/us to do what He created us to do and enjoy it. I think there is a time when we suffer a bit but I don't believe that is for us for all of life. I think there are so many times and seasons, "good" and "bad"... it all starts in our minds and whether or not we see with the eyes Jesus has provided for us and with the mind Jesus had provided us.

Ok, perhaps I am rambling on BUT I know 

-both these lyrics are powerful truths

-the verse from Luke helps my faith and hope in my Father and King, and it is a NOW promise and continual in Jesus...

- I WILL give, continually, my desires to King Jesus and hold onto hope and ask continually for that which God has put into me for eternity.

-I am realizing deep dreams that I didn't even know I had, dreams I had forgotten, and skills I had forgotten that I had

-I have begun to see the fears and lies that have tried to trap me for too long

It time to move on, stop hiding under a rock, and rise to greatness.

--

Starting in April we will have a month of training for interpreting in LSM to better serve  our deaf congregation. Also we will be in prayer this month and more LSM equipping.
. 

 I love our ministry team and deaf friends. 

I have given them all of me. I am a bit jealous to leave the ministry team right when they are starting a new thing and are fired up with vision. But they are ready and it will soon be time for me to go. I do hope to be able to come back. I don't know how or when but I know my heart is here with these propel hearing and deaf. 

Going to school will be such an asset to future ministry and I can't wait to continue to live out and help others walk in freedom and healing in Christ. 

Good things are to come for Queretaro. This I know. There is vision here and passionate lovers. 

Wanna support the schooling?? 

Look on my support page/get involved page here on the blog for more info.  

It shows the process and how much I have and still need for the school year. 

School support

Blessings. 

Limit-less

It's time to end the excuses in our lives. It's time to quit living with limits. WE get to decide for ourselves our lives. We get to DO and not wait/ be stuck... We get to learn, live, and DO.

I want to use the God given wisdom that I have and skills for the Kingdom here and now. To lead well, love well and better this world that we live in.
Living intentionally with vision and goals to get things done. I have the grace to LIVE and leave a mark.

It's time to make daily decisions, even if they are small and seemingly insignificant. Little steps in freedom. We are not here just to pass by without being light and salt... Without leaking out our unique identity.

Revival in the earth is ready and waiting for us to BE who we were created to be. 

Kicking the bad in the butt & out the door; bringing in heaven

-Written 3:45am Saturday morning. My own scribbles and pacts to God... Or rather his pact to me. -

That's enough, enough of coffee taking Your place as idol... Buying it, consuming it , thinking about it, receiving bad affects or withdrawals ... It is too time consuming. Even now sick, instead of getting healthy sleep, having dreams in the night-I am sick.

This is my doing.

But hey! It's done. Why? Because it's not worthy. I was made for more. More has much to do with the King and his Kingdom. 

Jesus, you died for sickness... And me drinking simply coffee is causing afflictions and pains. I am doing that to myself knowingly. That goes against your reign and desire for us. You died for headaches and instead of taking your word, healing, provision... I am doing the opposite. Bringing on myself hurt, more anxiety, growing a vice... (And I'm not being hard on myself, I'm being real and not in denial.) 

So, I give it back to you Jesus. You call each of us to higher lives. Each person convicted differently. Each with what they can handle. For me, I have tasted and seen that my body doesn't work well with caffeine. I don't do well with caffeine. It does more harm than good. And has become an idol. Around coffee- I have based my schedules, time, & priorities. Those things need to be based around you King Jesus. 

So tonight, on my bathroom floor... 

Trying to kick the nausea and trying to calm my nerves and not think about the migraine... I was once again wondering- how did I get here AGAIN. It is NOT the first time. (The other incidents were worse)

And I kept thinking "I know better!"

Each time I have gotten here- racing heart, pounding head ache, nausea, and body shakes- I have thought "alright, won't do THAT again." And there I am again, in the same place. Tonight I heard... Ever so stern and lovingly God say “Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.”  Ouuuch. 

And this time instead of saying "ok... I won't be here again" and then doing it again... I decided in that moment on the floor, to see why I continued to drink coffee while I know the affects for ME. And I realized that I tried to make rules or surround myself with no's. I tired to avoid coffee. But my conviction to drink coffee and have the "good" "desired" affects, the thought that "everyone drinks coffee and loves it", or "it taste good and so desirable these days"- was stronger than my conviction to say "yes" to you God and all you want for me (higher-ness). 

I want so badly what you have for me, your time and recourses Lord, that I don't need the coffee, I don't need to rely on that. 

Sitting there on the floor really looking... It changed everything. 

And THIS, this I see, is true repentance. Learning a new path and taking it. Seeing the old and throwing the old out. 

{(In my life, MORIAH'S LIFE) I have heard for a while now that God hadn't wanted coffee's affects (good or bad) on me. And I tried in my own strength to kick the habit. The coffee was and continued to be a big idol and desire. Something, at times, that I only would avoid to please the people that wanted what was best for me and when they weren't looking I'd drink it again. Most times only feeling bad trying now to drink it and then have bad issues afterwards.. That guilty feeling. But no real proof of change. It wasn't my own desire to really stop. (Just like any sin in our lives before you let in GOD to really transform you.)}

This time, this time I know who it is for. I know how You Father see me and how you have SO MUCH infinitely more. And you don't desire for this weakness to any longer set me back. 

That is renewing.

This year of battling the desire for (something so simple and silly perhaps to others) coffee has been crazy and scary. But I see now. I see why I even went to the coffee in the first place and why I kept going back even when I knew I shouldn't. I see.

‭‭I am in bed now, my heart has calmed, nausea lower, and head pain almost gone... Thinking- thank you Jesus for dying for this and that I can let go and be greater. Because of you Jesus I am healed. I can come in close. 

P.s. I am aware that this is a conviction from God for ME. And only share my process. I never said or say that it is for others. I just know surely now, what God wants and has for me. I pray that you see how God sees you and that you will rise to that place, to be better. To live to your higher calling. Even if it is more difficult. He will SURELY highlight in your life an area of the need of "letting go" and rising to greatness.

InterVarsity LSM

Just last Sunday I made a connection in the city with a group called "compa". They are young people who are Christians from all different churches and all different universities. They each, in their own schools, have opened Bible study/outreach groups to reach the students from their colleges/universities.
It is the same organization as InterVarsity.

(I actually just heard about this group while I was in California a few weeks back and I was amazed at all they were doing on the Channel Islands Campus.)

Well, last week God brought me to this Mexican group of young adults, that I didn't even know existed! FUN, isn't He?

They ended up asking me to teach them all LSM.

THAT IS a good good plan to me!

With each of them in different churches

each of them on different campuses...

that can help a whole lot of people.

I like that idea. Working together to reach the not yet reached.

The Deaf community here in the city is big and growing.

Many of them are in the universities and super smart. Thanks to a big Deaf community.

These new students of mine will reach and enter into places that I cant go. THAT is the point of the body.

So, today is the first time and I hope to not only share Deaf culture and LSM but also my history, love for this people group, and passion for them too to know Love.

Moving back or forward?

Did you guys know that it is OK to actually do something you enjoy?? It is OK to have dreams and desires and when those dreams or desires come to pass, that you can take a hold without feeling guilty and jump on board. Maybe I am not making sense. I just have seen that I can actually have pleasures in God's timing and not feel guilt.

Do you know that I didn't know to college? Let me share with you something.

When I was 18 I started living in Mexico. That was a great decision. Honestly though once in a while the doubt tries to creep in and it accuses me-"you should of", "what if", blah blah... not helpful, bad... just worry thoughts...but the truth is, it was and is all worth it. And those doubts do not last too long.

I have been through a lot and have matured so much. I have learned Mexican Sign (which IS NOT the same as American), how to teach (the deaf) children, how to be a counselor, a motherly figure, a leader, (more) organized, learned Spanish, learned to live with a completely foreign family and to live alone and to be a responsible adult, steward money, taught other people how to sign and teach sign, how to be in front of a crowd and speak (still learning that one, it freaks me out!), and how to love better (still learning this one a lot!).

My point is, ok so I did not go to college. That will not hold me back. I will not use that as an excuse to not try something or make goals and dream.

I am proud of myself.

I have so much faith but sometimes I believe lies that make me forget, but guess what! that faith is still there and growing stronger.

I am finishing up IMS, the Bible school I have been attending and have decided to apply at BSSM- Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. I have taken in so much and will not throw any of it away but rather apply it and keep growing and learning. But I know its time to do something else and I guess I could say that I am doing it for me, making a decision that I need to make.  http://bssm.net/admissions/is-bssm-for-me

What will I do afterwards?? I am not there yet. God has told me to be present and not worry about the future like I was. I would like to come back to Mexico but if that does not come to be, He will teach me to be OK. I will delight. It might be harder for me to live in the US than MX, that is me being honest. I have grown up here in MX. This is my home. But this is a new season. This is a time to continue learning. The school I am in now in MX is a baby school like BSSM in Ca. One of my teachers right now, Dick Joyce, is a supported missionary and friend of the Bethel family, who I respect greatly. 

Here is the deal...  I do not want to just fill my head with knowledge about revival or learn about the past, I want to see it happen here and now. I want to actually see America break out and burn for Jesus. My intentions are to take in to give out. I am planning to come back to California this July and if/when I get accepted to BSSM I would be going this fall. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE your support in this. Please ask me questions. I challenge you to not judge before you actually know. And remember you know me and know my heart. I want to see people freed. I want to see people (hearing and Deaf) walk in freedom and not continue in "slavery". I want more of God and and want others to experience the Fathers good good love.

----- ---- --------- ---- -- ------

The past 5 years I have been living on supportive people, doing what we are called to do give, pray, and/or go. I obviously do not work with a paying job and haven't for 5 years. I want to go back to Ca and put all I know to work while in Ca, BUT I could use your help.

Invest in me. Even if I end up staying in California, only God knows, it is well worth it. I see myself working for the hearing and deaf wherever that may be, and in English and Spanish.

I cant promise anything for your taxes unless you go through my gofundme account, which I have shared with you in past letters.

I am excited and it has been a rough few months but I am ready to do something for me/for Gods kingdom.

Tuition is 4,550 USD not including food, transportation, rent...

just throwing that out there. :) GOFUNDME

gofund       gofundme

We have this hope... so secure. It is running through our veins. Be aware of it. 

P.s. Let me know how you want to support me in this and I will give you the information needed. gofund.me/b6rg5o hehe

It's been a long day... sore body and weak hands.

I just found this post, it was written last year in this same time while I lived with Mary. Haha. 

Ooouf.

Yesterday evening and early this morning we at our home had a job to do. What was the job? To shovel dirt and rocks, to then take out the trash and glass mixed within the dirt, then to sort the rocks from the dirt by using a ghetto soil sifters out of plastic crates. Sorted out into buckets it was all carried from the top of the house to the back yard/bottom of the house (the house it on a hill…).  Carrying the buckets down the back of the house, empty the buckets, and come back to fill them up with dirt or rocks. While I had the job, this morning, of carrying the buckets back and forth in order to fill and empty the buckets, walking up and down a hill of stairs, Mary had the job of shoveling the dirt and filling the buckets/sorting through the glass and trash. Last night I worked with Mary shoveling dirt and rocks into the buckets… let me tell you my back is SORE. Why were we shoveling and moving dirt and rocks to the backyard? Well family of Mary is coming this week and the rocks/dirt was, for 5 months, where the car is supposed to be. For 5 months now every day someone has filled and brought about 4 buckets down to the backyard. It is was a BIG BIG dirt/rock pile. Well, we finished this morning around 10:45am… we must have started around 7:15 this morning. This is the longest day ever.