Kicking the bad in the butt & out the door; bringing in heaven

-Written 3:45am Saturday morning. My own scribbles and pacts to God... Or rather his pact to me. -

That's enough, enough of coffee taking Your place as idol... Buying it, consuming it , thinking about it, receiving bad affects or withdrawals ... It is too time consuming. Even now sick, instead of getting healthy sleep, having dreams in the night-I am sick.

This is my doing.

But hey! It's done. Why? Because it's not worthy. I was made for more. More has much to do with the King and his Kingdom. 

Jesus, you died for sickness... And me drinking simply coffee is causing afflictions and pains. I am doing that to myself knowingly. That goes against your reign and desire for us. You died for headaches and instead of taking your word, healing, provision... I am doing the opposite. Bringing on myself hurt, more anxiety, growing a vice... (And I'm not being hard on myself, I'm being real and not in denial.) 

So, I give it back to you Jesus. You call each of us to higher lives. Each person convicted differently. Each with what they can handle. For me, I have tasted and seen that my body doesn't work well with caffeine. I don't do well with caffeine. It does more harm than good. And has become an idol. Around coffee- I have based my schedules, time, & priorities. Those things need to be based around you King Jesus. 

So tonight, on my bathroom floor... 

Trying to kick the nausea and trying to calm my nerves and not think about the migraine... I was once again wondering- how did I get here AGAIN. It is NOT the first time. (The other incidents were worse)

And I kept thinking "I know better!"

Each time I have gotten here- racing heart, pounding head ache, nausea, and body shakes- I have thought "alright, won't do THAT again." And there I am again, in the same place. Tonight I heard... Ever so stern and lovingly God say “Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.”  Ouuuch. 

And this time instead of saying "ok... I won't be here again" and then doing it again... I decided in that moment on the floor, to see why I continued to drink coffee while I know the affects for ME. And I realized that I tried to make rules or surround myself with no's. I tired to avoid coffee. But my conviction to drink coffee and have the "good" "desired" affects, the thought that "everyone drinks coffee and loves it", or "it taste good and so desirable these days"- was stronger than my conviction to say "yes" to you God and all you want for me (higher-ness). 

I want so badly what you have for me, your time and recourses Lord, that I don't need the coffee, I don't need to rely on that. 

Sitting there on the floor really looking... It changed everything. 

And THIS, this I see, is true repentance. Learning a new path and taking it. Seeing the old and throwing the old out. 

{(In my life, MORIAH'S LIFE) I have heard for a while now that God hadn't wanted coffee's affects (good or bad) on me. And I tried in my own strength to kick the habit. The coffee was and continued to be a big idol and desire. Something, at times, that I only would avoid to please the people that wanted what was best for me and when they weren't looking I'd drink it again. Most times only feeling bad trying now to drink it and then have bad issues afterwards.. That guilty feeling. But no real proof of change. It wasn't my own desire to really stop. (Just like any sin in our lives before you let in GOD to really transform you.)}

This time, this time I know who it is for. I know how You Father see me and how you have SO MUCH infinitely more. And you don't desire for this weakness to any longer set me back. 

That is renewing.

This year of battling the desire for (something so simple and silly perhaps to others) coffee has been crazy and scary. But I see now. I see why I even went to the coffee in the first place and why I kept going back even when I knew I shouldn't. I see.

‭‭I am in bed now, my heart has calmed, nausea lower, and head pain almost gone... Thinking- thank you Jesus for dying for this and that I can let go and be greater. Because of you Jesus I am healed. I can come in close. 

P.s. I am aware that this is a conviction from God for ME. And only share my process. I never said or say that it is for others. I just know surely now, what God wants and has for me. I pray that you see how God sees you and that you will rise to that place, to be better. To live to your higher calling. Even if it is more difficult. He will SURELY highlight in your life an area of the need of "letting go" and rising to greatness.

InterVarsity LSM

Just last Sunday I made a connection in the city with a group called "compa". They are young people who are Christians from all different churches and all different universities. They each, in their own schools, have opened Bible study/outreach groups to reach the students from their colleges/universities.
It is the same organization as InterVarsity.

(I actually just heard about this group while I was in California a few weeks back and I was amazed at all they were doing on the Channel Islands Campus.)

Well, last week God brought me to this Mexican group of young adults, that I didn't even know existed! FUN, isn't He?

They ended up asking me to teach them all LSM.

THAT IS a good good plan to me!

With each of them in different churches

each of them on different campuses...

that can help a whole lot of people.

I like that idea. Working together to reach the not yet reached.

The Deaf community here in the city is big and growing.

Many of them are in the universities and super smart. Thanks to a big Deaf community.

These new students of mine will reach and enter into places that I cant go. THAT is the point of the body.

So, today is the first time and I hope to not only share Deaf culture and LSM but also my history, love for this people group, and passion for them too to know Love.

Moving back or forward?

Did you guys know that it is OK to actually do something you enjoy?? It is OK to have dreams and desires and when those dreams or desires come to pass, that you can take a hold without feeling guilty and jump on board. Maybe I am not making sense. I just have seen that I can actually have pleasures in God's timing and not feel guilt.

Do you know that I didn't know to college? Let me share with you something.

When I was 18 I started living in Mexico. That was a great decision. Honestly though once in a while the doubt tries to creep in and it accuses me-"you should of", "what if", blah blah... not helpful, bad... just worry thoughts...but the truth is, it was and is all worth it. And those doubts do not last too long.

I have been through a lot and have matured so much. I have learned Mexican Sign (which IS NOT the same as American), how to teach (the deaf) children, how to be a counselor, a motherly figure, a leader, (more) organized, learned Spanish, learned to live with a completely foreign family and to live alone and to be a responsible adult, steward money, taught other people how to sign and teach sign, how to be in front of a crowd and speak (still learning that one, it freaks me out!), and how to love better (still learning this one a lot!).

My point is, ok so I did not go to college. That will not hold me back. I will not use that as an excuse to not try something or make goals and dream.

I am proud of myself.

I have so much faith but sometimes I believe lies that make me forget, but guess what! that faith is still there and growing stronger.

I am finishing up IMS, the Bible school I have been attending and have decided to apply at BSSM- Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. I have taken in so much and will not throw any of it away but rather apply it and keep growing and learning. But I know its time to do something else and I guess I could say that I am doing it for me, making a decision that I need to make.  http://bssm.net/admissions/is-bssm-for-me

What will I do afterwards?? I am not there yet. God has told me to be present and not worry about the future like I was. I would like to come back to Mexico but if that does not come to be, He will teach me to be OK. I will delight. It might be harder for me to live in the US than MX, that is me being honest. I have grown up here in MX. This is my home. But this is a new season. This is a time to continue learning. The school I am in now in MX is a baby school like BSSM in Ca. One of my teachers right now, Dick Joyce, is a supported missionary and friend of the Bethel family, who I respect greatly. 

Here is the deal...  I do not want to just fill my head with knowledge about revival or learn about the past, I want to see it happen here and now. I want to actually see America break out and burn for Jesus. My intentions are to take in to give out. I am planning to come back to California this July and if/when I get accepted to BSSM I would be going this fall. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE your support in this. Please ask me questions. I challenge you to not judge before you actually know. And remember you know me and know my heart. I want to see people freed. I want to see people (hearing and Deaf) walk in freedom and not continue in "slavery". I want more of God and and want others to experience the Fathers good good love.

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The past 5 years I have been living on supportive people, doing what we are called to do give, pray, and/or go. I obviously do not work with a paying job and haven't for 5 years. I want to go back to Ca and put all I know to work while in Ca, BUT I could use your help.

Invest in me. Even if I end up staying in California, only God knows, it is well worth it. I see myself working for the hearing and deaf wherever that may be, and in English and Spanish.

I cant promise anything for your taxes unless you go through my gofundme account, which I have shared with you in past letters.

I am excited and it has been a rough few months but I am ready to do something for me/for Gods kingdom.

Tuition is 4,550 USD not including food, transportation, rent...

just throwing that out there. :) GOFUNDME

gofund       gofundme

We have this hope... so secure. It is running through our veins. Be aware of it. 

P.s. Let me know how you want to support me in this and I will give you the information needed. gofund.me/b6rg5o hehe

It's been a long day... sore body and weak hands.

I just found this post, it was written last year in this same time while I lived with Mary. Haha. 

Ooouf.

Yesterday evening and early this morning we at our home had a job to do. What was the job? To shovel dirt and rocks, to then take out the trash and glass mixed within the dirt, then to sort the rocks from the dirt by using a ghetto soil sifters out of plastic crates. Sorted out into buckets it was all carried from the top of the house to the back yard/bottom of the house (the house it on a hill…).  Carrying the buckets down the back of the house, empty the buckets, and come back to fill them up with dirt or rocks. While I had the job, this morning, of carrying the buckets back and forth in order to fill and empty the buckets, walking up and down a hill of stairs, Mary had the job of shoveling the dirt and filling the buckets/sorting through the glass and trash. Last night I worked with Mary shoveling dirt and rocks into the buckets… let me tell you my back is SORE. Why were we shoveling and moving dirt and rocks to the backyard? Well family of Mary is coming this week and the rocks/dirt was, for 5 months, where the car is supposed to be. For 5 months now every day someone has filled and brought about 4 buckets down to the backyard. It is was a BIG BIG dirt/rock pile. Well, we finished this morning around 10:45am… we must have started around 7:15 this morning. This is the longest day ever.

whats up!?

*Putting up a page on Facebook on Health and healing- foods and aceites essenciales (essential oils).
There is information on the oils, my experiences, interesting recipes, and also access for those who want to buy young living oils within Mexico.*

It is in Spanish so, let your Spanish speaking friends see or know about it. Or if you know someone here in Mexico.
If you want to know more but don't speak Spanish or live in Mexico I can still help. Just let me know.
So worth it. 


Aceites Health & Healing on facebook and on instagram--> Aceiteshh
email: aceiteshh@outlook.com

Prince of peace

January of last year I was in a big transition. 

January of this year I am in a big transition. 

Both last year and this year God has shown me that I had kept myself in an unneeded situation. Both years I was staying in a place where God didn't ask me to say in... But I think that I stayed, unmoving for fear of man. Both this year and last year God has shown me he wants me to live in the freedom he has given. It was given, so why do I keep placing myself back into slavery? 

Fear of man is seemingly taking over. It is the worst! To please another over God... Fatal. 

Never ever do I want to fall into that, or go crawling back into that lie, that mess, that awful place. 

I will take freedom. I will let the freedom burst out of me. I will strive to keep my Lover, Jesus Christ in his rightful place. What is wise to God is crazy to the world. That is ok to me. 

He is the one and only, Price of peace. 

King of my heart. YouTube video/song

You are good, good. You are good. King of my heart.

Watch this video. Let God smother you! Let Him ravish your heart again.