A time for change.

In August I’ll have been in Oaxaca, Mexico 12 months.

I came here with a plan to learn Spanish and then be off to Queretaro. I was thinking I already knew a thing or two. Within the first few weeks of living here and studying here I was humbled and realized no, I don’t know a single thing. So instead of being prideful I was humbled. I quickly was aware of how little I knew and became hungry to learn. So here I am now I have graduated and still have so much to learn. If anyone thinks it’s normal to attend a language school for 3 months or even 6 months and expect one to be fluent… I’d say that’s unlikely. Oh but there has been an improvement! I’m amazed at all I’ve learned in this time, thankful for what my brain does understand. But like I said I came here for a purpose, as tempting as it would be to stay here.

I’m thankful for this time living among these people, learning their ways and traditions. Compared to life in Queretaro, Mexico life here is pretty different and these are the things I’ve grown accustomed to. In the nearby city I know my way around and can travel there and home just fine. I’ve loved the way of transportation, sitting in a 15+ passenger van with the windows rolled down for only 30 pesos. I’ve loved being surrounded by greens and bright flowered trees. I’ve even just recently learned how to have peace in the thunder and lightning storms (while inside my home ;). And my body is somewhat used to the climate.  I’ve grown accustomed to these people that have loved and this family that I’ve learned to love. These are the same people that welcomed this wacky white girl into their home for 12 months. I was allowed to invade their space and get to know them deeply.  These are the same people who laughed while watching me eat their spicy foods and watching me sweat. These are the people who fed me Iguana, eggs of who knows what, ants, grasshoppers, turtle, fish, clams, crayfish, giant shrimp, crabs, and possibly other prohibited foods that I didn’t bother to ask about. It’s been great… this place, this year has been a blessing. I’ve found beauty here and hardly want to leave.

Now September is coming and I’ll be in Queretaro, Mexico. I’ll be living there working with only a few of the many, many deaf within the state. I’ll be living and working with my friend Marisela Cano who has been reaching the deaf and has been teaching them alone. I could quite possibly be in Queretaro one year or 20 years. Who knows maybe God will call me back to California. He won’t lead me where he doesn’t follow.

As of now I am living from week to week in Gods faithful care. I get to trust him with my needs and it’s gotten easier to do so because he has been providing in crazy ways down to the details.

I want to be honest with you saying that I am only able to do this with YOUR partnership in this. This is only one tiny part of what God is doing among these Mexican deaf people. I need 500 dollars monthly for living expenses. This is 500 dollars each month to live in Queretaro, Mexico compared to the 150 dollars right now in this small Oaxacan town. This has got to get going. With so much to do it can be overwhelming while thinking about all the need but we can start somewhere. My goal this year is 6,000 dollars, cant wait to see what God does this year.

 By sending me the Gospel of love has the opportunity to spread among a MAJOR unreached people group, the deaf.

-body talk-

So I had a worm. Well, not just one. It's more likely I had many... many little worms living inside my intestines. That explains why I was feeling the way I was, though (not that I voiced any of these feelings): insomnia, anxiety, irritability, nausea, lack of appetite, restlessness, itching in not pleasant areas, and major abdominal pain.  Its funny, I have joked many times with others about worms and said things like, "Hey, maybe I have one." Well, I did and I have probably had it since November. NOVEMBER. That is a long time to go with worms living and affecting your body. You'd think I would have realized something was wrong and gone for help. Nope, not me.

In my defense, though, the symptoms were not consistent. The symptoms would come and go during those months and I couldn't figure out was going on. By May it was bad. I was suffering physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I'd be so excited to do something, but then I would feel like I could sleep all day. Inside I felt like I had no emotion. Just "blahhhh." It was awful. I thought maybe it was the food I was eating and I needed to change my eating, which may have been true. Those stinkin' worms sucked away my nutrients for 8 months! In December I was told that I have an iron deficiency, so the worms just made everything that much worse. If you want to know more about pin worms, look it up. Google can help you. Yuck.

 

By June I was feeling pretty crummy. I went to visit some friends in Queretaro, Mexico which was wonderful, but the whole time I felt like a zombie. Lethargy hit hard. Then I had a few days back at my home in Oaxaca, Mexico before I flew off to California for a week of rest. Let me tell you, that plane ride to LAX was draining. I cried on the plane, overwhelmed by exhaustion, and felt ready to sleep forever. The month leading up to my California trip, I started thinking that I may have a worm (or 2 or 3 or many, many more) and was waiting until I went to California to get the right medication. 

 

That week in California was amazing. There was prayer, there was communion and fellowship, there was encouragement, there was healing and being made whole. I got loaded up on herbs and veggies and then my last day (praise Jesus!), a few hours before heading to the airport, I was given the right medication. The herbs were AMAZING. After just one day I saw a difference.

 

So here I am now, waiting to see how it all clears out (literally, ha ha). Since I've been back in Oaxaca, I feel alive again. I can get through the day without sleeping for hours and hours. I can eat again without feeling full and bloated. I can sleep at night without waking up with anxious thoughts and ridiculous fears. These last 8 months have been a time of seeking, a time of listening, a time of questioning, and a time of real wrestling, but hope has always been near. God seems to be changing everything I ever thought I knew and I am being constantly humbled.

that's encouraging

The Supremacy of God in Going and Sending

     There is a wonderful passage in the often neglected epistle of 3 John that sums up the burden of this book beautifully. We want to leave you with its truth ringing in our mind and heart. There are only two ways for us to respond to the truth we have been considering about the supremacy of God in missions. We must either go out for the sake of his name, or we must send and support such people who do, and do so in a manner worthy of God. Listen to the words of the apostle John, who heard the heartbeat of Jesus as he leaned on his breast and who listened with his own ears to the giving of the Great Commission.

     "The elder to the beloved Gaius, whom I love in truth. Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers. For I was very glad when brethren came and for witness to your truth, that is, how you are walking in truth. I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. Beloved, you are acting faithfully in whatever you accomplish for the brethren, and especially when they are strangers; and they bear witness to your love before the church; and you will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. For they went out for the sake of the Name, accepting nothing from the pagans. Therefore we ought to support such men, that we may be fellow-workers with the truth." 3 John 1:1-8

     What evidence compels this old apostle to be convinced that Gaius's soul is prospering? What is the truth in which Gaius is walking? Apparently some missionaries, whom John knew, had visited Gaius and were loved by him in a special way. They returned to the church of which John was a part and testified that Gaius treated them well, even though they were strangers to him. This so moved John that he wrote Gaius a letter to encourage him for walking in the truth and for acting faithfully. He wanted to urge Gaius to continue all the more. "You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worth of God." Gaius was admonished by the apostle to be a sender. This phrase, "to send on one's way," occurs nine times in the New Testament, and each one occurs in a missionary context.
   
     The most descriptive verse is found in Titus 3:13. In this verse, Paul writes to Titus, "Diligently help Zenas the lawyer and Apollos on their way so that nothing is lacking for them"(NASB). From this verse we can learn that sending is something to be done diligently and is all inclusive - "so that nothing is lacking for them."   

In 3 John, this diligence and thoroughness is captured in the phrase "in a manner worth of God" (vs6). This elevates the importance of sending as high as can be imagined. It is a commandment of God (notice the "ought" of verse 8). The reason we must send them in a manner worth of God is that they go out for the sake of the name. The name of God is at stake in how we treat our missionaries. God is glorified when we support them substantially with our prayers, our money, our time, and myriad other practical ways (notice the "whatever" in verse 5). God is not glorified when our missionaries are simply a name on the back of a bulletin or a line item in the budget.

     It is not of secondary importance to be engaged in this ministry of sending. It is a very high calling. It is walking in the truth. It is the manifestation of a healthy and prospering soul. Senders are fellow workers with the truth. To send in a manner worth of God is a call to excellence in the support of missionaries. It is a direct participation in God's purpose. The cruciality of sending cannot be overemphasized. Therefore, it must not be done in a shoddy manner but in "a manner worthy of God." There is a world of difference between a church "having" a missionary and a church "sending" a missionary. When we send missionaries in a manner worthy of God, God is glorified, our souls prosper, and we are fellow workers with the truth. We are in sync with God's heartbeat and his purpose to be glorified among all the peoples.

-"Let the Nations be Glad!"by John Piper

mom + dad were visiting

parents : )

some of the family that I live with

mom cooked whole 3 whole fish

hope running through these veins

Well I graduated from the Spanish School on the 17^th along with two others. The three of us started together and finished together. The last day of school there happened to be a men’s conference where I was selling t-shirts, this was a great way to put all that I had been learning into practice. My parents came and were here during the event and stayed until the 25^th. The morning they left for California I also left with eight other youth from town to go to a youth conference in a town called “Ixtapan”. Traveling there and back was an experience by itself, on the way to the event our group plus 3 other young men from a Rio Grande church had the privilege to stand/ sit in the back of a truck bed for the 6 hour windy mountain drive in the heat of the day, some of us covered from head to toe in dust and others getting sun fried. The trip on the way home was through the night but much more pleasant, we left the event around at 1130 pm anxious to get home and this time we prepared ourselves for the winds of the road with medicine. Once again we squeezed in the back of a truck this time with a few blankets, drowsiness, and huddled together watching the tall mountain trees and shooting stars go by while zooming around each turn. We arrived back into our town close to 4am, each to our own way and crawled into our own beds.

Despite the driving conditions I actually enjoyed the weekend. It was difficult at times and I feel like my patience was stretched but it was worth it to go. In the moments talking about life, hurts and love with others that are seeking something more, it was worth it. Sitting in the conference was fun listening to each speaker and understand what was being said. Minus a few words here and there, these ears and mind of mine understood! In the second day Spanish was being translated into Chatino for the locals that did not know Spanish. Hearing Chatino made Spanish a piece of cake, the Spanish was clear compared to the other.

Also being out there seeing the giant mountains I got to think and pray over the harvest. It is overwhelming for me to think that way out through the mountains and trees of Mexico there are other town like the one we were in… even smaller too. To me it is overwhelming to think that also around the world there are people in hidden places. So much work to be done. I am one person and I can live here and now and walk one step at a time, looking to what is in front of me and what I can do this day. So there I was thanking God, thanking him for the harvest and for ready hearts. And of course I was praying for the workers. I was praying for help, because yes there is A LOT to do and it does feel overwhelming if I think about it. So I was sitting there looking out to the mountains overwhelmed too with a longing, longing for more…waiting for more. Overwhelmed with the reality of this world but also overwhelmed with hope. 

Here are a few examples of what our transportation looked like... picture these but with travel luggage and backpacks.

super

I’ve finally made a legit connection with the woman Nelsy (she is one of the Deaf woman here in town), her mother and the boyfriend/husband of Nelsy. Meeting the mother and boyfriend has been my desire because meeting them means getting permission to spend time with Nelsy. I want to get to know all of them and share with them this love of language. I want them to know that Nesly is smart and should have the opportunity to learn like everyone else. I want Nelsy to know that there is a way for her to communicate and not have to be frustrated all the time. I want to love this family.

I had the opportunity to go up to the house of Nelsy’s mom last week and talk with her, there I asked her for permission to spend time with Nelsy to talk and teach her Mexican Sign. She told me what I already knew… Nelsy has to work, she works everyday selling foods, she has no time, her husband would not like it, etc. Yes I know most of that is true BUT I knew that this woman was also fearful.  Nelsy is the only way of income for them… walking from their house to the base, all around town, to the beach, and even to Rio to sell the food they prepare. If she isn’t working they won’t make money. Then there is the man that Nelsy lives with. At one time he went with her to learn some signs taught in Puerto Escondido but said that he would never go back, he did not like it and did not want Nelsy going either. Well Nelsy’s mom ended saying that she would talk with Nelsy and the husband. He thanked me for coming and for being interested. I headed to the next town over Rio to meet Genna and on our way back home our taxi driver stopped to pick up more people. When I opened the door to move into the front seat I saw Nelsy! Nelsy and a man hopped into the back seat with Genna. I soon realized the man was her husband. NOT a coincidence. Genna and I talked to him a little bit, mostly he talked and I didn’t understand all of it but by the time we got out of the taxi he was inviting me over to teach both him and Nelsy Sunday evenings when they both are home and free. I WAS SHOCKED! I did not expect that at all… I thought I was going to have to convince him but he offered. SO God, right there.  I was so excited I even jumped. I didn’t have words but was in awe. While walking home alone I walked surely with my mouth wide open. Once again I am shown to trust in His ways.

A wedding, Iguana, + more Iguana

1 March 

We went to another wedding tonight, a catholic wedding. I'd say it was an entertaining and joyful wedding, more joyful than the first wedding here in December. There was "dancing", ya I guess you'd call it that. The bride and the groom danced with each other then with just about everyone. They each danced with the parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, great aunts and uncles, the whole gang. It was hilarious. It was obvious that the poor groom could not dance (Later after we arrived back home Julio, one of my house parents, reenacted the groom). The groom did this hop/bounce with each partner, it was embarrassing to watch, almost painful but I couldn't look away.  The whole time the partners would look off into the distance or glance at their feet awkwardly, it was the longest dance sesh.  At one point I spotted a cockroach crawling down the back of one of the male partners. The whole time he had no idea whatsoever and the cockroach continued to crawl during the dance, ha.
My Mexican family and I had arrived late (or just on time) so we missed the ceremony. When we did arrive the music was blaring. Imagine late night club music with English lyrics, the kind of music that would be played around 3am for the late night party animals.. and there we were at 7pm sitting looking around at one another not dancing.  Most of the time I was busy entertaining myself with people watching. This wedding was unique... I dont know exactly how to put it to words, but if you ever get the opportunity to go to a Mexican wedding I think you'll have an interesting time.
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Yesterday we ate Iguana. Julio "hunted" it Thursday (really he hit it with his car, on purpose or not I'm not sure) which I guess is bad because it is illegal to kill the Iguanas but people seem to keep on eating them here in town on the down low. I have to say I feel bad but it tasted so good with tortillas, cheese, and avocado.

2 March (Family day) 

Well we got  a call after church from Chacalapa, where Delia's dad and step mom live, they were going to prepare and eat Iguana tamales. The family knew how I wanted to eat Iguana tamales before so they made sure to call and invite us over. We hopped in the taxi after church and drove here... so there we were in Chacalapa making tamales de iguana and tamales de pollo.
I had the privilege to watch Delia's step mom kill a chicken, that was fun. I wont get too detailed but she had a knife and slit things quick and easy. For about 5 minutes it drained (while it drained a duck came over taking advantage of the moment and sipped up the blood, that was lovely) then she brought the chicken over to hot water, plucked the feathers and cut it up into pieces. Just a few minutes before it had life and now well its pretty dead, super dead.  This reminded me of one day in Baja California at Rancho Sordo Mudo killing a few roosters blast from the past. This family is set on food for a while with all the chickens, roosters, and ducks running all over the place! I had a wonderful time helping the women make the tamales and also had just as much fun sitting back to watch them work together. We sat around a table with a giant pile of tamales to eat. The poor animals were yummy.
Around 8pm after we had watched "La Sirenita" or The Little Mermaid we got back into the car and headed home. Us girls in the back seat with a blanket and a few pillows for the drive. Moments like that I want to bottle up forever. It was a good, sweet moment. In a car at night with the windows rolled down, cold air coming in and blowing all around. That is my favorite.